Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away
by DearSweetPapercut
Summary: Her dark eyes glanced up at him as if asking "Why do you care?" her body had involuntarily flinched at his touch.   Considering the success of "Fading Bloom" I decided to write another Sara/Vartann fic.
1. Chapter 1

Sara/Vartann/Catherine.

Set in a world were Catherine and Vartann were together before Sara and Grissom.

This is inspired by the song "Philadelphia" by Parachute.

I hope you all like it, please review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Part One**

Undeniable heat gripped to the skin of those that had been in air conditioned buildings as they poured out of their work environments on their way to the rest of their lives. Most wore tired smiles as the knowledge that someone or something would be waiting for them as they returned home. A few thought about the beloved significant other the day had forced them to part with. A few more thought about the bottle wine that loitered in the kitchen waiting to be opened. Above them the sun sunk further in the sky creating a glow that felt like a backdrop ideal for the romantics left in the city of sin. Neon glowered in everyone's eye line as a reminder what unfolded during the nights.

Her chest tightened as she stepped out into Vegas air, the city unfolded for miles beyond the spot where she stood. The vastness of the place she called home seemed to sink into her bloodstream turning into anxiety. She attempted to brush aside the thoughts of the people, the places and problems that surrounded her until the dessert.

She took a deep breath letting the dry heat fill her nostrils and then her lungs with her eyes closed attempting to silence the feelings that had all of a sudden become vocal in her body demanding to be let out in a display of tears.

It was the feeling of a hand resting on her shoulder that dragged her unwilling self back to the reality that had built up around her. Bright blue eyes watched her with concern like that she craved from another. He quickly retracted his hand aware of the silence that lingered between them as they awkwardly stood outside of the LVPD crime lab. Her dark eyes glanced up at him as if asking _"Why do you care?_" her bodyhad involuntarily flinched at his touch. He continued standing there, his hands awkwardly tucked into his trouser pockets, the gold of his LVPD badge glinting in the ever dimming light.

"Drink?" He said clearly cautious of her reaction to his offer.

As she stood before him, scraps of that day reforming in her mind she recalled looking down the barrel of a shot gun the feelings of fear trickling back into her consciousness. She nodded in response to his question realising that she needed something to relieve the stress that had built up over the day about to overflow. The situation the pair had found themselves in had reminded them that life was too short. He led her to his car the both of them keeping an eye out for anyone who may have been watching them. They had both previous learnt the hard way that rumours and gossip spread like wild fire consuming the mental capacities of their colleagues.

The drive was close to soundless apart from the faint remnants of "Duran Duran" from his stereo clinging to the air between them. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat re-adjusting her window for the fifth time attempting to let the breeze remove the trace of guilt from her pores. She shouldn't have been here with him. This was not her place. The seat beside him belonged to someone else. But the harder she tried to make it feel less wrong the more persistent her thoughts became.

Every so often he could cast a glance in her direction to find her looking intently out of the window like as if she were caged and dreaming of freedom. Her dark hair softly curled and stirred in the air that circulated through his car. He thought of how different she was to the woman that normally occupied that seat beside him. Guilt suddenly rushed into his system as he attempted to push aside the thoughts of his girlfriend.

No matter how hard either one of them tried, they were unable to make the situation less wrong, feel less like adultery.

So, as they sat in silence, they both decided to simply just accept the feelings.

He waited for her to climb out of the car and follow him to the rather dingy looking bar they had identified as an ideal spot for the two of them to share a drink. It was not a place they were going to be recognised- they were not likely to run into friends throwing puzzling looks their way as they attempted to think of excuses to justify how they had found themselves together.

No, it was most certainly not a place they were going to be bothered.

The inside of the bar seemed to dimmer than the evening light that had filtered through the clouds down over their city. People seemed to be too busy enjoying the taste of their poison of choice to notice that their vision had been impaired. He ordered two double bourbons and indicated to a quiet corner table. She simply followed his instructions as if she had no other choice.

"Are you okay?" He asked before she had even had the chance to take her first sip. The question caused her to pause for a few seconds as she thought over the answer. She took a sip from the firey liquid that had been placed in front of her and turned to her companion. His blue eyes shined in the muted lighting, his lips were pursed causing his jaw to tighten creating a shadow of the aggressively masculine image of him that she was only ever used to seeing in the interrogation room.

"No." she responded honestly. He simply just nodded taking another sip from his drink not knowing how to react. They both knew why they were there, why they were attempting to have conversation that they had not even processed themselves, but the reality of addressing everyone of their worst fears was suddenly weighing down to their way with words.

"You?" She enquired knowing full well what the answer was going to be.

"No."


	2. Chapter 2

I hope you all like it, please review.

Sorry this is short- it's just explaining what happed preceding part one so the rest of the story will make sense.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Part Two **

They both sat in silence as the weight of situation began tugging at their consciences. Neither one of them knew where to start when it came to explaining their feelings or where to start when talking about the day that they seemed to have barely survived. They finished their drinks hoping that the bottom of the glass would dull all of the sensations they were feeling, in fact all they found was the knowledge that they were skinning further into a melancholic state.

"Today... what happened... it was my fault..." he said slowly his heart skinning at the information he had just acknowledged.

"You can't blame yourself for what happened...you didn't know..." she comforted him but recognised that her words sounded hollow in the light of what had happened.

As he took a sip from a fresh drink he recalled the weight of his gun in hand as the seconds seemed to disappear like sand in an hourglass. The same icy blue eyes that had watched him, taunted him to make his move reappeared in his mind. The grin that oozed nothing but satisfaction when he'd found himself with no option but to pull the trigger caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end.

She sat opposite him with the same clouded over eyes as her companion, her hand shook slightly as she lifted the glass of red wine to her lips. The sound of the gun shots still rang in her ears, she recalled closing her eyes to what was happening for fear that the bullet that had just escaped from the barrel of the gun was making its way towards her. It was not until she had braved reality that she'd seen the man who had a gun pointed at her on the floor, his eyes still open, a blood pool slowly growing as the last bits of life drained out of him.

Her heart stopped.

The world was silent.

It was supposed to be a routine pick up.

No one was supposed to get hurt.

But as the two of them had looked around at the destruction of their surroundings they realised that whatever they had gotten themselves into was something so much bigger than they had ever expected. The furniture was riddled with bullet holes, in addition to the body of their suspect lay the body of a missing woman that had been written off years ago as slowly every single lead had become cold.

They had been so close.

"This shouldn't have happened." he said breaking the silence that had settled between them. She glanced up at him and for the first time since they had entered the bar their eyes met. They mirrored each other; the disappointment, the pain, the confusion.

"No, it shouldn't have." she agreed looking down at her hands clasped in her lap. "But there is nothing we can do now."

Her harsh words were like a knife to his gut, it was the truth, there was nothing they could do now; an innocent woman had lost her life.


	3. Chapter 3

I hope you all like it, please review.

Listening to John Mayer has certain side effects, behold.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Part Three **

They shared one last drink realising that what they were feeling was not something that was going to fade. It was something that would ware away at them. But the best thing they could do now was ignore it; pretend that it wasn't happening in that way that they had seen so many colleagues they had encountered during duty did so.

They'd seen it before; the burn out, the gradual deterioration of their sleep, their focus, their lives.

Vartann led Sara to his car with a solemn expression. Perhaps he shouldn't have been driving. But neither one of them said anything; they just let the sombre atmosphere linger in the confined space. He slowly pulled up at the curb near Sara's apartment and glanced at her not knowing what to say or how to respond to the shock their system had suffered.

A part of him couldn't understand the things that he was feeling. He had used his gun before; he had been caught off guard before, shot people before. There was something different this time. For some reason it wasn't the same this time.

Sara cast her companion one last glance that attempted to spark hope in him they and with her silent goodbye she disappeared in the direction of her apartment block. He stared at the empty road ahead of him. The dim glow of street lamps danced on the surface of the gravel, they were far enough away from the city for stars to be visible in the midnight sky, his surroundings seemed serene but it felt like a raging storm was fighting against his rib cage.

He tapped his finger tips against his steering wheel restlessly as he stopped at traffic lights, the radio blared and he let the sound of music he would never normally listen to take up the space in his thoughts. But not matter how much he tried to push what had happened out of his mind, the memories came back to haunt him. Every so often he'd be held accountable by his own conscience as the smell of gun powder would linger in the air or the feeling of rising bile in his throat would cause him to choke up.

The training that they had been through didn't seem like enough, not in that moment where he had to decide whether to pull the trigger or not. Death was a consistent in the job they did but never had they worried that it was their own actions that would get innocent people killed. Whenever they had been forced to fire their guns it had been in self defence against individuals guilty of committing unimaginable crimes.

They had always assumed that were making things better. That all of their work would pay off at the end of it all. But as he drove slowly, lingering on the road of the city that seemed to be tying him down he could see the vices they were dealing with. A young woman stood on the street corner with an overcoat that appeared to be far too big for her. The make-up on her face slightly smudged from an evening's wear and eyes that seemed to speak for the troubles she had found herself in. She stood most likely waiting for another punter; waiting to find someone willing to help fund her habit. He could feel his heart sink and he drove on.

Perhaps he should have stopped?

Perhaps he should have done something to help?

These questions always lingered in his mind whenever he found himself faced with someone damaged, troubled. The longer he had been doing his job the more he understood that there were far too many people to keep track off. He would find himself forced to endure déjà vu when years later he would come face to face with people he had hoped would find their way out.

A sense of emptiness filled him and he pulled outside of his house; nothing they seemed to be doing was enough.

He glanced at the house that he resided in and realised he didn't want to go home. The thought of being confided in the walls of the place that he returned to every night. He thought with guilt about the woman waiting patiently for his return in order to help him.

Without letting his mind dwell for too long on his feelings he started up his car again.

He didn't want to go home, he didn't want to return to his own life, what he really needed was to escape- to be someone else.

The 'Acid Drop' was not a place he have usually chosen for a drink, he preferred the low key bars with friendly regulars rather than the over dressed professionals that bars like the one he had found himself in usually did. He glanced around at the blue lighting and the cocktails the people around him seemed to be sipping feeling uncomfortable. A drink would fix that, he thought as he approached the bar.

Time seemed to slow down as he sat in the corner drinking bourbon while watching the people around him dance and mingle. He should have gone home hours ago but for some reason he'd lost the ability to pull himself away. A part of him blamed it on the same, pretty waitress that would bring him another tumbler of whiskey every time he finished one. But he reminded himself that it was her job and he could have easily asked her to stop but he hadn't. Every time he would pick up the glass realising that it was a mistake and then take a mouthful to forget the guilt.

Eventually the world seemed to melt away. The surroundings he was in seemed to no longer be real; he questioned the solidity of the table he was sat at, and the smiles that the staff would throw his way.

The only thing that seemed to be real in his mind was the blood on his hands.


	4. Chapter 4

I hope you all like it, please review.

Sorry this is short- I had a writer's block and just wanted to get this chapter posted.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Part Four **

She stepped into the emptiness that welcomed her home every night. A part of her had accepted the mundane routine that seemed to have taken toll on her life. But she had tried her best to keep the dreams of an escape alive. Life in Vegas had most certainly not turned out to be the way she had thought it would be.

She'd fallen too fast.

She'd fallen too hard.

The object of her pining seemed oblivious to almost everything she did to put herself in his way. She had packed up her life in San Francisco and followed him to the city of sin but that hadn't seemed to matter. He hadn't noticed. It was almost as if the fact that she had moved to be with him meant nothing.

Rain began patterning against the windows as if a reminder that she was still alive, that there was a whole world out there for her to be exploring. When Sara had been younger she had spent years wishing to disappear into the walls that surrounded her, becoming someone that was no noticed. As adult she, now, realised those needs had changed- she wanted to be noticed, she wanted to be seen.

She wanted to be something different to the person she currently was.

She stepped into her kitchen the dim lighting of her apartment matching her melancholic mood. A half empty bottle of red wine stood on the counter waiting to be finished. She poured herself a glass watching as the liquid turned from an opaque pink to the blood red she spend the previous night becoming familiar with. The biting taste of the wine provided little comfort as she looked through the take-out menus on her kitchen counter.

She wondered when her life had become sitting alone every night drinking and eating bad food while wondering where her best years had gone. She missed the Californian sun, the comfort San Francisco had provided. Vegas epitomised everything she had wanted to escape from. But one meeting by chance had led her to what was becoming an increasingly empty existence. She felt forced into sitting back watching the only man she had loved flirt with the idea of settling with a string of other women. Being forced to dwell on her feelings in the little free time she had while acting the professional when in his presence.

Her career was important. There was no way she could doubt that. Every month she would max out her over time, every other night was a caffeine fuelled all-nighter. Working to make a difference was something that she had always wanted to do. And until recently she felt as if she had been doing just that. As Sara sat down she recalled the feeling of the gun digging into her back, the sound of a man hissing in her ear as his grip on her tightened. The image of an innocent woman slowly bleeding out in front of her as she could nothing but watch haunted her. When Sara woke up from the nightmare filled attempts at sleep, she could feel the metal digging into her back, the warmth of his breath on her neck.

The memories of the victim's family sobbing as they identified the body lingered in her mind as she would attempt to wash the remnants from that day off her skin. Thinking about what had happened she wondered who would have been crying for her had she been the one to be shot that day. Who would have cared if Vartann had not pulled the trigger as soon as he had done?

Her mind wandered to her long gone family. Her friends lost in their busy lives in San Francisco. The friends she hadn't made in Vegas.

The memories of the people she had lost or pushed away caused tears to sting her eyes and a lump to build up in her throat as she attempted to suppress a sob.

Sara finished off the glass of wine in her hand before reaching for the bottle again.


	5. Chapter 5

I hope you all like it, please review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Part Five**

**One Month Later: Vartann**

Vartann carefully pulled his car into the drive way of the house he shared with his girlfriend and colleague, Catherine Willows. This was the third night in a row that he'd found himself attempting to silently sneak into the house, at an obscene hour. He stood at the door the sky above him studded with stars occasionally hidden by wispy clouds, it had been a beautiful evening he recalled. But for him it had just been another night on the job- another night at somewhere that resembled the Acid Drop.

As he slowly opened the front door he was blinded by the bright lights of the hall way glaring at him as they were switched on. He let himself adjust to the new lighting before looking up at the woman standing by the foot of the stairs with a defeated expression on her face. She noted his red, blood shot eyes and the almost vacant expression on his face as he attempted to think of an excuse to explain where he had been. But she knew. She always knew. Catherin would be able to smell the bourbon and the cigarette smoke from a mile away.

"You need to get help." she said sternly, folding her arms across her chest. He stared blankly at her knowing what she was saying was right, but there was something inside him stopping him for being able to accept it. It had been a month since "the incident" and like both he and Sara had predicated things had not gotten better. He found himself haunted by the memories of that day, of the things that had happened. And the things that had not happened. Vartann had attempted to convince everyone around him that he was fine, that his new muted personality was just a result of being over worked. But he could tell that no one believed him.

"I'm fine." he attempted to assure both Catherine and himself as he placed his coat on the stand and walked towards the kitchen.

He took the filter out of the fridge and poured himself a glass of water knowing that to be able to have this conversation clarity was needed. As he lifted the glass to his lips Catherine appeared at the door with a worried expression.

"This is fine is it?" She snapped. For the past few weeks she had been listening to his pleas to just leave him be, to his claims that he was fine only to find that he had been drinking that night. "You're drinking almost every night, you hardly sleep, I heard that Brass had a word with you about your conduct! And you still think that everything is fine?"

He simply continued watching her unable to respond.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked meekly, realising that he might lose her if he continued this charade.

"Get some help, talk to someone..." she trailed of wrapping her arms around.

The honesty and clarity of his blue eyes seemed to provide her with some comfort, some assurance that things would indeed get better.

"Fine...I will..."

**Sara **

"Look Sara, if you want to take a nap, I won't judge you." Greg assured her as they sat in the break room together waiting for their shift to start. Sara shook her head, picking up a cup of black coffee.

Greg had picked her up to find that she had not slept at all. He had given her a concerned look that Sara had chosen to ignore but no matter no matter how much he pretended to believe her when she said she was fine, he was worried. Everyone was worried. At staff meetings they would all shared the same _"someone needs to do something"_ look. From what they had gathered Grissom had talked to her. And from the way she grit her teeth every time he spoke, everyone guessed Sara had decided to ignore him. As Greg looked at the woman currently beside him, he saw the consequences of the past few months.

"You look exhausted." Greg added hoping that it would make his friend rest for at least an hour. Dark circles were appearing underneath her eyes, the usual sparkle had significantly dulled and she hardly spoke any more.

He, for some reason, hadn't been able to say anything to Sara about her changing behaviours. Greg found himself at the mercy of his feelings for the woman sat next to him. Whenever he saw her, his heart would skip at beat at her beauty and awkward charm. But his fear of rejection, or losing what they had built over the time she had been there caused him not to say a word about the recent changes that he had witnessed.

"Fine, wake me up in half an hour though." she said assertively as she stretched out on the sofa, her bare feet making their way on to Greg's lap.

"I will, I will, don't you worry." He gave her a smile that eventually caused her to close her eyes. He began gently rubbing her feet, noticing the tattoo on her ankle he smiled to himself.

As Sara's breathing slowed and her chest began rising and falling in a regular pattern Greg slowly moved himself out from under her feet but as he did so he heard a whimper coming from the woman laying down only inches away from him. It was not till he stood up and walked towards the coffee maker he heard the very reason for Sara's exhaustion.

"Please...stop...please...don't..." she whimpered again the words barely audio-able had he not been listening out for them. When he turned back to her, he could see Sara beginning to move, thrashing her arms attempting to fight off an imaginary person. Greg rushed to her side not knowing what else to do.

"Sara! Wake up!" he wrapped his arms around her in order to stop her thrashing about. "Sara!"

She was still for a moment before she opened her eyes; a terrified look on her face as she let Greg tighten his embrace on her. As he slowly pulled away he saw the tears that were pouring down her cheeks causing her eyes to be red rimmed.

Greg wiped the tears away and pulled Sara closer hoping that his embrace would stop a small amount of the hurt she had been experiencing.


	6. Chapter 6

I hope you all like it, please review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

(Oh Sandle)

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Part Six**

Sara sat herself down on the benches in the dark locker room that they all shared. She could feel her heart beat in her head, and the pain in her frontal lobe slowly growing in intensity. Fishing out a box of pain killers from her hand bag she had an open bottle of water ready in the other hand. Headaches had become a frequent problem as the lack of sleep slowly wore on. With one smooth motion she swallowed the tablets and sighed. 15 minutes. That's how long she would have to wait for the pain to stop.

Greg had been throwing concerned looks her way all day, but she chose to ignore them. She didn't know where to start. She didn't know how to explain that one experience had left her reeling for this long. She wanted to explain that she hadn't been sleeping because every time she closed her eyes all she could see was death. She had barely been eating because she had hardly been able to keep food down. To be able to explain that she felt so alone in this crowded city. Sara wanted to tell him everything but there was something stopping her. The words wouldn't form in her mouth.

If she was honest she felt ashamed.

Ashamed for how she had been acting. Someone innocent had lost their life that day.

"Sara, can we talk?" Greg asked quietly as he slowly walked into the locker room. She glanced up at him her dark eyes wide with anxiety but pushing her feeling aside she nodded.

"Sara, you need to get some help, you can't keep letting this get to you, because if you do it'll eat you up." Greg started speaking unsure of himself, something that endeared Sara as she watched him.

"You're right." she spoke the words felt like sand paper in her dry mouth. He took the seat next to Sara and reached out his hand placing it gently on hers.

"I can come with you, if you want." He offered his hazel eyes wide with innocence and honesty. Sara shook her head.

"I need to do this by myself." she answered taking a deep breath. Greg's pager began making an ear piercing sound in his pocket indicating that he had to leave.

"If you need anything, I mean anything, call me. Any time. Any place. I'll be there." Greg spoke quietly as if they were sharing a secret, and for the first time in a long time Sara didn't feel alone. She held on tighter to his hand.

She finally let him go but as she watched him walk away tears stung her eyes again, she attempted to swallow the lump in her throat only to fail. She could feel a hot set of fresh tears slide down her cheeks as she attempted to put herself back together.

Sara didn't understand how to make it stop.

How to stop it hurting so much.

She wiped the tears away, quickly checking in the mirror to make sure she had her composure back and went in search of Hodges for results. The rest of the day passed in a haze, she and Greg had been dealt a home invasion. And the sloppy, novice thieves had provided them with enough evidence to create a water tight case. But no matter how much she attempted to focus on the present the past didn't seem willing to let go. The pain killers had long worn off and she could feel the familiar numbing pain taking over her body again.

Vartann saw her standing at the end of the hall way, her eyes closed as she leant back against the wall, the lack of sleep evident on her features. He had heard about what had unfolded in the break room earlier causing the memories of that day to stir up in his mind. He recalled the way that Sara had looked at him as a killer had hold of her; the fear, the slowly rising panic in her eyes. He had memorised her face in those few moments.

As Vartann slowly approached her he realised he had been so caught up in his own feelings about what had happened that he had not checked on Sara. It was no secret that there was something wrong. He had over heard enough conversation about how worried everyone was about her. He had seen her double her coffee intake, the wary look that never seemed to fade, and the spark that had made Sara Sidle who she was slowly burn out. A part of him wondered if people were saying the same things about him. A part of him wondered if people saw him in the way they saw Sara.

"Hey." he said softly to get Sara's attention. Her eyes slowly opened and she glanced at him with a blank, exhausted expression. "How are you?"

She was silent for a moment using her shoulders and the back of her heels to push her body away from the wall that had been supporting it. As she did so, he noticed that she was thinner than she had been before. From what he'd heard everyone knew she hadn't been eating properly, and he himself had noticed the increasing number of cigarette breaks she'd been taking.

"Fine." She responded shortly. There was a moments silence as they recognised the look in each other's eyes. They were both exhausted. "Sorry." Sara said quietly, bowing her head to look at her feet. "I'm just..." she trailed off and glanced up at Vartann who simply nodded, words weren't needed, they both understood.

"I'm going to get a drink after shift, at Dino's, if you want to talk, I'll be there." He gave Sara an awkward smile and walked away not wanting to push her too much.

They went the rest of the day not seeing each other completely consumed by work, but when Vartann finally managed to clock out he wondered if Sara would take up his offer to talk. A slight bit of hope rose in his as he walked to his car, perhaps they would be able to talk things out.

Perhaps she would understand.


	7. Chapter 7

I hope you all like it, please review.

It has to get worse, before it gets better- sorry :/

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Part Seven**

He sat waiting at the bar his fourth double Jack Daniels sitting in front of him, the ice slowly melting away diluting the whiskey. His eyes glanced at the clock that hung from the wall above the bottles of gin behind the bar.

"You been stood up?" A gruff voice from the guy next to him asked. Vartann shook his head and glanced down at the half empty glass in front of him thinking about Catherine waiting at home for him; sitting on the sofa attempting to focus on the pointless chit chat from the television while imaging him buying another drink. A lump built up in his throat and he realised that the guilt was too much for him to be able to ignore.

He had let her down enough.

But as he glanced up he saw Sara standing at the door of the bar her eyes scanning the room looking of him. She caught his eye and slowly began walking towards him with a sombre expression. He gave her a nod of acknowledgement and indicated for the bar tender. Sara sat herself down on the empty bar stool next to him and placed her hand on his shoulder to steady herself.

"How have you been?" He asked not knowing what to say or where to start; his companion gave a short humourless laugh. She glance down at the beer bottle the bar tender had placed in front of her and then back up at him.

"I haven't felt this bad in a long time." she shared with him taking a sip of her beer, he nodded in agreement.

"You know, I've been trying to figure out who would have cared if I'd been shot that night, who would have come to my funeral, said a few words...And you know what? I realised... I'd either lost or pushed away the people that cared..." she stopped talking keeping her focus on the bottle in front of her rather than meeting his eye.

"Hey...that's not true...I would have cared." he offered speaking gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Really?" the sound of surprised in her voice worried him.

"Yes, Sara, really." he assured her.

Before he knew what was happening Sara and lent in and covered his lips with her own. For a moment he didn't respond as she kissed him sharing the drinks that she'd had that night. He stopped her, gently pushing her shoulders away from his body. As Sara pulled away her cheeks were red, her drunken eyes had widened with fear.

"I'm sorry..." she slurred unable to form a sentence with the mix of booze and embarrassment she picked up her hand bag while getting up off the stool. "I'll go...this...I'm sorry..."

Vartann sat shocked not knowing how to react as Sara hurried out of the door. His brain attempted to register what had just happened, but the more he thought about it the darker things seemed to be. He thought about Sara's confessions of isolation and worried about the consequences having in his line of work seen too many people give up ending up on a cold metal slab rather than living the rest of their lives.

He took a deep breath checking his phone to find three missed calls from Catherine. He had to go home. The guilt of letting her down hadn't been washed away by whiskey.

The night air outside was as clean as Vegas could be, cars passed by at steady speeds, it was as he made his way towards the curb to hail a cab he was her. Her dark hair fell in her face as she paced, a cigarette slowly burning out between her fingers.

"Sara." He called but she didn't seem to hear him. It was not until he reached her that he saw that she was crying. She glanced up at him and for a moment it was if she didn't know who he was, without thinking he pulled her into his arms. It was then that he saw how truly broken she was, and for some reason that hurt him.

"I'm sorry..." she pleaded with him to understand that she had made a stupid mistake.

"Shh, it's going to be okay." Vartann muttered into her hair hoping that his attempts at comforting her were helping in some small way. She didn't respond her body becoming rigid at his touch. He pulled back, to find her watching him with caution. She was most certainly drunk; he could tell from the smell of rum that over powered him when they had embraced. He began wondering what drinks she had been mixing that night.

She wore nothing but a shirt shivering at the cold, Vartann pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Let me take you home."

She didn't respond her vision focusing on the ground. She had fallen into the same routine, drinking a bit too much and then finding that she felt nothing but shame afterwards. He kept his hand on the small of her back as she climbed into a taxi.

They sat silently as they drove to Sara's place; she turned to face the window not being able to look him in the eye. The driver seemed to be playing a Duran Duran's greatest hits, but beyond the music there was complete silence between them. He attempted to figure out what would have been the right thing to say but every time he turned to speak to her something would stop him. The taxi finally came to a halt, outside of Sara's apartment; she turned to Vartann tears still streaming down her face and gave him an almost apologetic smile before climbing out.

The same feelings of guilt started bubbling up inside of him again as he watched her walk towards the front door. She stumbled slightly tripping over her own feet, it was then he realised not only just how drunk she was but also how fragile.

Sara needed help as much as he did, perhaps more so.

"Here." he gave the taxi driver the fair and quickly climbed out of the passenger side door closest to him.

"Sara." He shouted to get her attention. She turned to face him, her expression completely blank, she waited for him fishing her keys out of her bag but when she attempted to open the door her blurred vision stopped her from being able to get the front door key in the lock.

"Here, let me help you with that." Vartann offered as he approached her, he gently touched her hand taking the key ring from her opening the door into a dark hallway. Sara tripped through the frame and began making her way towards the stairs, Vartann followed close behind. She led him inside and awkwardly sat down on the sofa waiting for him to say something. He quietly closed the door behind himself and disappeared towards the kitchen attempting to navigate himself around his unfamiliar surroundings opening cupboards attempting to find a mug and coffee.

He returned to the living room with a steaming mug in his hand and placed it in front of Sara. She took it gratefully.

"I'm sorry." Sara said slowly, her words close to a whisper.

He reached out and placed his hand on hers silently letting her know that her apology was not needed.


	8. Chapter 8

I hope you all like it, please review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Part Eight **

"Its fine...things... have been rough... this last month, I understand." Vartann spoke softly, in a manner that Sara had hardly seen him use before, she'd gotten used to the tough and slightly aggressive man she had watched so many times in interrogation. He had always appeared to be someone that was hard to get to close to, causing her to wonder about his relationship with Catherine.

"You can say that again..." she gave a nervous laugh taking a sip from her coffee, her hands shook slightly.

"The things I said earlier...I meant them, Sara...I'm glad you made it through that, I'm glad you're still here." he said, his hand finding a resting place on her shoulder. She looked up at him her dark eyes filled with uncertainty.

"Thank you." She responded not knowing what else to say. "Since moving here, I've just felt...different. Things just haven't been...how I expected them to be and I don't know how to change that."

"What did you expect?" He asked sympathetically. Once again Sara's dark eyes were on him as she attempted to figure out if telling him about her most personal feelings was a good idea. She hadn't told anyone about her feelings for Grissom, not that they hadn't noticed the way she looked at him, or how hurt she was by his apparent lack of caring about her feelings when it came to their non-relationship.

"Grissom..." She started deciding that perhaps talking about it would be the best idea. Perhaps hearing what someone else had to say might make her snap out of it? "...I don't know what I was thinking..."

Vartann gave her a nod of understand, she didn't have to say any more it was clear what she was referring to. There was silence between them as they attempted to figure out what would be the best thing to say next. Sara knew that there was nothing to be said about her relationship with Grissom, it was a whole lot of nothing. Vartann knew that there was nothing that he could offer her to change the situation.

"I just... I feel so alone here..." Sara said quietly fidgeting, focusing on her hands rather than looking into the intense blue eyes that were watching her with concern.

"Hey..." There was his gentle voice again causing her heart to lurch. He moved closer to her and placed his arm around her shoulder, using his free hand to take one of her hands into his own. "...You have me, any time you need to talk, to go out, or to just see another human being rather than staring at these four walls...call me."

"Thank you." Sara gave him a weak smile.

"I'm going to have to go now, how about, we grab a coffee tomorrow?" He asked casually.

"That'll be nice." Sara nodded with a smile. It was then Vartann saw a small spark of the woman he had first met.

After he'd left Sara found herself sat on the sofa thinking about all the things that she had done that night, she attempted to focus on how things were going to get better. She had to try and make things better because she realised that if she didn't this city would destroy her.

Vartann walked back home, glancing nervously at his watch as he did so. Seeing the state Sara had been in that night had sobered him up, as he walked towards his front door his heart began to sink. He didn't want to fight with Catherine. But as he stepped into the light of the hall way, he could hear the sound of the TV blaring from the living room.

"Where were you?" Catherine's voice came from the kitchen. He took a deep breath and headed towards where she stood by the sink. He glanced around his eyes settling on the kitchen table where Catherine had place two plates, candles and the table cloth they only ever used on special occasions. He noticed that the pots and pans sat on the stove covered.

"I...I was with a friend." He offered.

"A friend?" Catherine laughed, folding her arms across her chest as her clear blue eyes stared him down. A part of him wanted to tell her exactly where he had been, and exactly what he had seen but for some reason he just couldn't bring himself to do it. For some reason being with Sara felt like the wrong place for him to be. He quickly thought of how she had kissed him, and hoped that no one they knew that seen them.

"A friend of mine was going through a rough time, I wanted to help." He said not wanting to specify gender worrying that Catherine would jump to the wrong conclusions, in their line of work they had seen how misunderstandings could hurt people.

"And _he_ had your phone so you couldn't call or text to let me know you were going to be late?" She placed so much emphasis on "he" that it was almost as if she was spitting it at him.

"I'm sorry, it sort of just came up." Vartann looked at her with as much honesty as he could.

"What's his name?" Catherine asked switching her weight from one foot the other in attempts to have more assurance.

"What?" He asked attempting to seem innocent.

"What is your friend's name?" Catherine said aggressively taking a step towards him.

"Does it matter?" He asked, attempting to think of his old school friends, anyone that she wouldn't know.

"Yes it matters."

"Tom Green, I went to school with him." Vartann offered hoping that it would be enough to stop the vengeful looks that his girlfriend was throwing his way.

"Tom Green wears ESTÉE LAUDER Sensuous Nude?" Catherine asked with a raised eyebrow knowing that she had him cornered.

"Catherine I don't know what you're talking about." He attempted to assure her.

Vartann could see Catherine losing her fuel; her eyes showed a sense of desperation that mirrored something that he had seen in Sara earlier that night. He could see whatever she was feeling fizzle out and turn into being simply defeated. Without a word Catherine stepped past him, her hand going to her head.

He stood in the kitchen door way watching her disappear down the hall. He didn't know what to say to make things better with Catherine.

But he there was one thing he did know.

Sara needed him.

And the more he thought about it, he was forced to acknowledge another thing.

Perhaps he needed her too.


	9. Chapter 9

I hope you all like it, please review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Part Nine **

Catherine sat in the break room a mug of coffee slowly cooling down in her hand as she stared into the distance lost in thought. She had barely slept the previous night, there was something about the smell of perfume she smelt on Vartann the night before that she couldn't shake; she knew it, she knew who wore it. Catherine searched her memory attempting to attach the scent to something meaningful but she couldn't seem to place it.

"Hey." Sara said smiling as she sat herself down opposite Catherine falling casually into the seat.

"Hi." Catherine responded, obviously distracted lost in her own world. They sat in silence for a few seconds before Sara picked up on the atmosphere finally managing to say something.

"What's up?" She asked hinting concern towards her friend. Catherine's eyes shot up from her coffee as she attempting to figure out exactly what was wrong. She didn't have much evidence to back up her theory, the smell of perfume that he could have picked up anywhere. Her gut. There was something about the way he had told her about "Tom Green" that made it feel as if he was lying.

"I think...Lou might be having an affair..." it hurt to finally admit it out loud. The things that had been imaging her heard had officially turned into doubt. They were no longer just distanced speculation but now real possibilities. Sara watched her carefully not knowing how to respond.

"How come? He clearly adores you." Sara said softly, awkwardly shifting in her chair hoping that Catherine wouldn't notice.

"He's been drinking... out most nights..." The blonde explained, speaking slowly like she did when at a trial. "And last night... he comes home... smelling of women's perfume... and claims he was with some Tom Green, an old school friend."

"I'm sure he was telling the truth." Sara offered swallowing hard. She felt guilty- Vartann had had to lie to cover up that he had been with her. Again she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, clasping her hands together on the table that was between them.

"Perhaps..." Catherine said sounding defeated, she stood up throwing a grateful look at Sara for attempting to make her feel better. "Thanks, I better get back to work."

Sara headed towards the exit fishing her cigarettes out of her pocket as she did so. Once outside she found her usual quiet spot in the corner of the car park before finally lighting up. She watched the distance while taking drags from her cigarette slowly exhaling.

"Thought I'd find you here," A familiar voice said quietly from closed behind. Sara turned meeting Vartann's icy blue eyes and causal smile, she smiled back and shrugged at her own predictability. "Want to go and get that coffee?" He asked tucking his hands into his trouser pockets.

Sara stood silently watching him for a moment not knowing how to respond. She'd seen just how hurt her friend had been and it seemed so wrong to keep this "thing" that had developed with Vartann going. But if she was honest, she liked having a connection, someone to turn to.

"Sure, sounds good." She responded with a smile, stubbing out her cigarette.

They walked silently towards the nearest coffee shop, letting the silence between them settle. Every so often they would cast glances in the others direction only to find them intently watching their feet. As they walked into the cafe they were overwhelmed by the bustling number of people that filled the small space. They stood side by side in line, every so often sharing frustrated glances.

"Tell me you're not one of those weird coffee drinkers." Vartann asked, the manliness she had gotten used seeing in him reappearing.

"Weird?" she said in her raspy smokers voice with her eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, you know...the skinny-low-fat-de-caf-soy-chi-latte types." he explained with a bored expression and a shrug of his shoulders making Sara laugh.

"What if I told you I was?" She raised an eye brow at him.

"I think I'd have to leave." He said sternly.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I am a skinny-low-fat-de-caf-soy-chi-latte drinker." Sara responded teasingly with her infamous half smile.

"Well, it was nice getting to know you Sara, but I don't think we can be friends anymore." He jokingly began walking away.

"I'm joking, come back!" Sara laughed. Vartann walking towards her and as their eyes met they both began laughing. As she watched the man standing next to her Sara realised that she hadn't laughed in so long and that when she smiled it was genuinely.

"Don't mess with me like that..." Vartann said not being able to stop smiling. Seeing Sara laugh and smile made him feel better, he was actually doing something to help.

"Next time, I might not come back." He warned with an air of false arrogance that made them both laugh.

They ordered their coffee's snatching up the first table that became available in the corner of the cafe and sat down opposite each other. Vartann watched as Sara mixed sugar into her coffee waiting for the right moment to ask how she'd been without wanting to seem too pushy. She glanced up at him with a knowing look.

"Go on ask, I know you want to." She rolled her eyes with a lowered voice and took a sip of her steaming hot coffee.

"How have you been Sara, I mean, really, how have you been?" He asked softly. She stirred her coffee some more, her lips pursed as she thought about her answer.

"Better, not great, but better." She responded honestly with a smile. "How about you?"

"Better... not great... but better" He copied her answer, making her narrow her eyes again and him smile.

"Drinking?" she asked not wanting to push the issue too far.

"Trying to stop, "trying" being the operative word." He shrugged admitting just how hard it was to not turn to the bottle.

"That's good." Sara smiled supportively.

They finished their coffees chatting about the cases they had both been working that day, venting about suspects and evidence every so often making each other laugh. It felt as if something had changed in the world as they walked back towards the lab surprised that they were actually enjoying each other's company.

"Well this is my stop." Sara said tucking her hands in her coat pocket slowing her pace as she reached the lab. Vartann simply nodded coming to a halt and turning to face her.

"I had a good time." he said awkwardly.

"Me too" Sara gave him some confidence in his statement.

"Tomorrow? Same time, same place?" Vartann asked hopefully his eyes lighting up his shoulders tightening slightly. Before Sara couldn't stop herself she had already responded with "yes", a part of her glad to have something to look forward to, the other part of her guilty for doing something that she shouldn't; for doing something that would hurt her friend.

But before they said their final goodbye they both caught each other's eye, their glance sharing the same sense of hope.


	10. Chapter 10

I hope you all like it, please review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Three Weeks Later**

**Part Ten **

Their coffee breaks together became a regular thing only being missed for hot cases. Vartann would find Sara having her usual one-thirty cigarette and like the first day they would walk to the cafe in almost silence and sit at the same table in the corner. They had become increasingly comfortable with each other, something they had never seen themselves as being. After a few weeks the waitress had learnt their orders and routine.

"How are things with Grissom?" Vartann asked causally watching Sara's expression for a reaction. She rolled her eyes and sighed taking a long sip from her coffee, giving away exactly how things were going with Grissom without any words.

"Can we not talk about him?" She asked her friend not to push the matter further. Her companion gave her a sympathetic smiled and nodded taking a sip from his coffee hoping that a new topic of conversation would appear between them.

If Sara was honest with herself she felt frustrated with herself for the fact that many of her nights were spent wondering if she even crossed her supervisor's mind. Their eyes would meet and the only thing she had ever seen was just how oblivious he was too how she felt for him, how much she hoped that he would feel the same. Sometimes she would hate herself for what she felt for the man. She had never pinned so many of her hopes on one person; she had too much experience of how people could let her down.

"How are things with Catherine?" she asked Vartann, hoping that he wasn't experiencing the same frustrating failure in his relationship. His response mirrored hers, he sighed taking a long sip from her coffee.

They had been arguing more than ever. No matter how hard he tried to change, there was something dragging them back to square one. She still hadn't forgiven him for the night when he came back smelling of Sara's perfume. Whenever they fought he could see the doubt in her eyes- the worry that he had been sleeping with someone else. He didn't know what it was but he felt as if it was best to hide his friendship with Sara from her.

"Can we talk about something else?" Vartann asked. Sara nodded with a genuine smile, placing her hand on top off his in a sympathetic gesture. "Have you been sleep better?"

"I guess... I still have night mares... they've been less intense though." She glanced down at the table avoiding making eye contact with him. She acknowledged that she hadn't lied, the dreams had been less vivid recently but they still managed to keep her awake. Sara would find herself sitting alone in her apartment at obscene hours listening to the sound of the clocks ticking hoping that drowsiness would turn into solid undisturbed sleep. Often than not that was not the case. Much to the concern of everyone around her the dark circles under her eyes persisted and her weight continued its steady decline. "Have you been drinking much?"

"I've been fine, lapse every so often and have one too many drinks. But I'm trying." Vartann assured her. He had been drinking less but often it felt as if it was for the sake of his relationship with Catherine rather than anything else. Every time he had to draw his weapon he would think about shooting that maniac. He would see an innocent victim die. And relive almost losing Sara.

The moments that had haunted them had left their imprint on their lives bubbling and leaving them in melancholic moods. Silence settled between them as they dwelt on how they really were doing.

"How's your case going?" Sara offered attempting to change the mood.

"Well, actually, just brought a guy in for question, letting him sweat so he breaks easier once I've had a word." He explained hailing the waitress over. "Yeah, can I get a refill and a slice of your spiced apple cake, please?" After she had left he turned back to Sara to find her smirking at him.

"What?" he questioned her with the most innocent expression he had to offer, his bright blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

"Nothing...tough guy." Sara laughed.

"Hey...it's my job." he said defensively raising his arms, Sara nodded taking sip from her coffee without taking her eyes off him, a devilish smile spreading on her face as she placed the cup down.

"How about your case?" Vartann asked not taking the bait.

"Good, thanks, I left Hodges some samples to run. But generally looks promising." She replied as another coffee and a slice of cake were placed in front of Vartann.

"Oh you have to try this." He stretched his arm across the table with a forkful of cake for Sara. With slight hesitation she tried it, pleasantly surprised at how good it was.

"That's pretty good." She indicated to the cake. "But we should head back soon, they'll be wondering where we are."

"Well... I know Catherine will..." Vartann muttered under his breath loud enough for Sara to hear. She looked at him with concern not knowing how to respond. They had both decided to keep their encounters secret and had gotten good at dodging questions over the last three weeks about whether they had been during their breaks. Without a word between them they realised that people may take their breaks together as something other than what it really was; two friends supporting each other through a tough time.

Finishing off their coffees they gathered their things together and stepped back out into the Vegas heat starting their journey back to work. As they walked they chatted about their home towns and the differences moving to the city of sin had brought for them. Like every other day they would naturally slow down as they got closer to the crime lab dragging their meetings out longer.

"Bye." Sara said and began walking away.

"Hey Sara..." Vartann called to get her attention. "Do you...maybe... want to get a drink... or dinner after shift?"

"Sure." Sara stood for a moment watching him before replying.

They both walked away from each other, smiles tugging at their lips as they realised that they had something to look forward to at the end of the day.

A change from the usual argument with a partner.

A change from going home to an empty house.


	11. Chapter 11

I hope you all like it, please review.

Thanks to Charlie!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Three Weeks Later**

**Part Eleven **

Sara opened her locker attempting to not let the exhaustion get to her; it had been a tough day but she reminded herself that she had made it through that. Recently it felt as if surviving a day in his city had become a cause for celebration. Her life had become such a mundane routine. But Sara shook the thoughts out of her head, reminding herself that she had something to look forward to. She glanced down at her watch, she still had forty five minute before she had to meet Vartann; enough time for a shower and a change of clothes.

Vartann sat at his desk finishing off the day's paperwork willing time to pass quicker. It had been a long day. The case requiring special attention due to the victims close relationship with the chief, and it felt as if everywhere he turned he was being watched. As he looked up to see that Catherine was walking towards his desk, he realised that it was about to get longer and perhaps more stressful.

"You ready to go home?" She asked with a smile.

"I wish... I have so much paperwork to do. I'll meet you there in a few hours?" He asked hoping that the guilt wasn't too evident in his voice. Catherine nodded, not being able to hide her disappointment.

"Sure, see you later." she turned and began walking away, hoping that he would say something to stop her. But there was nothing but silence following her out of the room. Vartann placed the paper work in his desk drawer getting all of his things together in preparation for meeting Sara. He felt bad for lying to Catherine but he realised that he needed a break from the consistent things in his life. And his growing friendship with Sara had provided him with an ideal escape. As he walked towards the crime lab he saw her standing by the door, a cigarette slowly burning out between her fingers. She'd changed from when he had seen her in earlier he noticed; she was now wearing a tight pair of sleek black jeans and a thin red panel blouse. She looked good, he thought to himself.

"Sara!" he shouted to get her attention. She smiled at him and took one last drag of her cigarette before putting it out.

"Hey." Sara said in her raspy voice, a smile tugging at her lips.

"So where do you want to eat?" he asked.

"There is a veggie place, not far from here, if you don't mind." Sara suggested as they strolled casually down the street.

"No, no...I don't mind at all." They walked in silence neither one of them being able to vocalise exactly what was on their mind at that moment. Sara took a deep breath finally and turned to him.

"Does...Catherine know you're here...with me?" she asked quietly. Vartann remained silence for a few moments thinking about how to answer the question that he had just been asked. The one thing he had enjoyed about his time with Sara was the fact that they were honest with each other. But this was different. He was admitting that he had deceived his girlfriend and that he'd lied to someone that Sara cared about. Vartann turned to Sara, their eyes meeting before he answered.

"No...I haven't told her." He said simply, their eyes lingered and Sara understood exactly why he hadn't said anything; for fear that they might not be able to spend any more time together.

"This is it." Sara said indicating to a brightly lit building across the street.

Inside the restaurant was almost empty and quiet with jazz music softly playing in the background mixed with the murmur of conversation. The waiter led them to a table and placed menus in front of them, his eyes not leaving Sara's.

They sipped red wine and ate their meals not thinking about the other relationships in their lives, focusing on what was developing between them. The way they were chatting it was as if they had known each other for years.

"Can I get you anything?" the waiter that had seated them reappeared with a cute chipped tooth smile and his come to bed eyes.

"Could I get another glass of wine?" Sara asked politely.

"Make that two." Vartann chipped in.

"Of course." He flashed one more smile before disappearing in direction of the bar.

"That waiter is so into you." Vartann commented leaning across the table once the waiter had disappeared out of sight and ear shot.

"Nah...I think he's just looking to get a tip." Sara laughed, blushing slightly.

"No, he recognises a beautiful woman when he sees one." Vartann responded to Sara's insecure comment. Her head snapped up and their eyes met, he held her gaze for a moment letting his statement linger just a moment longer.

"So what do you think of vegetarian food?" she asked quickly changing the subject.

"Surprisingly good, if I do say so myself." he remarketed, going along with the new topic of conversation not wanting to make Sara uncomfortable.

They ate their desserts conversing about changes in lifestyle that would accommodate vegetarianism, Sara attempting to convert him, however finding herself unsuccessful. The bill came while they sat drinking wine.

"Let me get this." Vartann offered, placing his credit card down on the tray.

"No, I can't let you do that." Sara began arguing.

"You can get the bill next time." Vartann compromised as the small tray was picked up.

"Fine..." Sara said in a slight huff.

They gathered their things and walked through the door to be consumed by Vegas chaos. They both walked in silence giving themselves time to think about the time they spend together and also giving the feeling of the wine they had had to drink a chance to settle in their systems.

The night had been subtly revealing.

"Do you want to come in for a night cap?" Sara asked as they reached her apartment. Vartann glanced down at his watch, he knew that when he got back he would be battling with Catherine to convince her that he had been working this long, but when he glanced up at Sara he realised than when it came to her he couldn't help himself.

"Sure." he responded following her through the front door.

The apartment looked no different from when he had first seen it he noted as he sat himself down in the living room. Sara had left him alone as she disappeared into the kitchen to get them drinks. She returned not too long after with two whisky tumblers in one hand and a bottle of Jim Beam in the other.

"A woman that drinks bourbon, I like you more and more Sara Sidle." he laughed as she handed him a tumbler.

"I probably could drink you under the table...detective." She said in a low voice as she sat herself down next to him, slouching in her seat.

"One day I'll take you up on that challenge." he assured her. Sara pulled herself up off the sofa and flicked through her record collection finding "In the Wee Small Hours" and put it on before returning back to her spot next to Vartann.

"Frank Sinatra, nice choice. But you need to stop impressing me so much because, I might just have to marry you." He joked, attempting to hide the fact that there was some truth in what he'd said. Like the many times before that same night their gaze met and lingered.

She searched his clear blue eyes in attempts to find complete honesty.

He searched her coffee coloured eyes looking for her emotions.

He took a deep breath, placed his drink down and turned his body so he was facing Sara. She was laying back in her seat, slouched on the sofa as if she had been haphazardly thrown there. He reached across moving a strand of hair out of her face. And for a moment neither one of them knew what their next move was going to be.

Vartann leant in placing a gentle kiss on Sara's lips hoping she would reciprocate.


	12. Chapter 12

I hope you all like it, please review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Part Twelve **

Sara kissed him back slightly unsure of herself. Vartann's hands ran up Sara's sides and to her shoulders not roaming to anywhere they hadn't been invited. Their kiss came to an abrupt end as they both found themselves recoiling from the intensity that had made itself known between them. They both knew that had they not stopped they could have easily gone too far and made a mistake that they would both have regretted.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly not being able to look her in the eye. Sara remained silent still reeling from the kiss. "I should go."

She nodded standing up alongside him, while awkwardly straightening out her shirt. They walked together to her front door neither one of them being able to turn whatever it was they were feeling into words. Vartann shot her one last apologetic look before disappearing down the hall way.

Sara turned to look at her empty apartment an exasperated gasp escaped her lips. This was her life. She had seen enough victims' houses to know that their homes provided an amazingly accurate study of who they had been. Often she would find herself wondering what outsiders would see if her home would ever become the focal point of an investigation.

Would they see the loneliness that beleaguered her?

As she cleared up the whiskey tumblers she attempted to remember the last time someone had kissed her like that. The last time someone had called her beautiful. Sara felt a slight sinking sensation when she realised that since meeting Grissom the only romantic feelings she had experienced were the extreme senses of pining for something that never would materialise.

When had this apartment become too big for her?

Sara found a bottle of red wine she had been saving but decided against it. Drinking was not the answer. There were more questions at the bottom of an empty bottle. There was more misery than she could have ever imagined. She placed the bottle back in the cupboard and made herself a pot of coffee instead. As she leant back against the counter she felt the overwhelming feelings of everything that she had been attempting to hold back fill her body. The kitchen counter was no longer enough to hold her up, and Sara found herself sliding to the cold tiled floor. She wrapped her arms around her knees as silent tears made themselves familiar with a path.

Vartann stepped through the front door preparing himself for the barrage of abuse that was to follow. He didn't know what more he could say but it was his fault. What more was there to say other than he was wrong?

"You said a few hours." A quiet voice came from the end of the hall way. He turned to face the defeated woman that he shared his house with. He felt the same sense of defeated that she was currently experiencing.

"I'm sorry." He responded.

"Where have you been?" She asked folding her arms across her chest in attempt to regulate her breathing and seem more confidence. He watched her silently for some reason the words caught up in his throat.

"Were you...with another woman?" The question came out quieter, less assured. He noticed something in her voice. Fear. Catherine was scared of what was happening to their relationship. As she looked at the man before her she realised that she no longer knew who he was. She feared losing him.

It was not until she saw the look in his eye that she realised that her worst fears had already been recognised.

She had already lost him.

"Why are you doing this to me?" She shouted no longer being able to hold back the frustration that had been plaguing her existence for the past month. She had tried so hard to continue being supportive but Catherine could no longer pretend that everything in their relationship was fine. A tear rolled down her cheek as she stood defiant, her hands curling up into fists. She needed to know what it was that had led their relationship to break down to such a stage.

"I don't know..." Vartann responded to the question. It was true, he didn't know. He didn't understand what was going on between him and Sara. He didn't know how, or when, their relationship had made such a dramatic turn.

But the question that bothered him the most was that he didn't know if he loved Sara or not.

They had provided each other with comfort when they needed it. They had helped each other through a tough time. They had stared caring for each other in a way they had never imagined they would. But was that enough? Was that love?

"You don't know? Lou you've been out almost every night for the past month, you disappear in the middle of the day. And you're telling me you don't know if you've been sleeping with another woman?" She yelled at him.

"I haven't been sleeping with another woman." He state honestly. He hadn't slept with Sara.

"Don't lie to me!" Catherine spoke with a disgusted expression on her features.

"I'm not lying." he said softly but it was too late, attempting to salvage what they had was too difficult a task. Catherine didn't trust him anymore, and if he was honest with himself then he didn't trust himself around Sara.

"I need time to think." Catherine answered, rubbing her temple with one hand while the other was firmly placed on her hip.

"Okay." And with that Vartann turned and disappeared out of the front door.

As he walked a sense of disappointment filled his system. He recalled how in love with Catherine he had been not too long ago, and how happy they had made each other at one point. He acknowledged that he was to blame for the breakdown of their relationship but until now it hadn't felt real. It was as if one day he was going to wake up and things were going to be back to normal again. But they hadn't. He had buried his head in the sand while things kept getting worse.

Vartann stopped and glanced around attempting to figure out where exactly it was that his feet had brought him. He saw Sara's apartment building in front of him and it took a moment before he made any movement. Attempting to dull the sound of his conscious he climbed up the stairs to her floor and rang the door bell.

Sara appeared in front of him, her eyes red rimmed and her makeup smudged from her attempts at rubbing it off her pale cheeks.

She bowed her head to the ground with indignity as she opened the door wider to let him in.


	13. Chapter 13

I hope you all like it, please review.

Sorry, I was going to get this up earlier, but I have sinusitis and am finding it really hard to focus.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and has a wonderful New Year : )

(Warning last bit of this chapter – "M")

Last chapter I think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Like a Gun Shot from Miles Away**

**Part Thirteen **

"I'm sorry...for showing up like this...I didn't know where else to go." he spoke quietly as if they might be overheard, not looking at Sara.

"It's fine..." Sara shrugged closing the door behind him. A part of her felt glad to have the company, while the half of her knew it was wrong and that he should have been at home with Catherine. Taking a deep breath Vartann turned to her. He had to say something; he needed to explain to Sara what was running through his mind.

"Sara look...I don't know, what's happening here. But I think...I think... I love you." he blurted out not being able to stop himself. Over their meetings they had gotten to know each other better than they ever thought they would. They had become comfortable with each other being about to display their worst while hoping for the best. Every time he had seen her, he'd realised how beautiful she was, inside and out. He'd wake up in the morning knowing that he had their coffee break to look forward to. But recently those breaks had stopped being enough.

Sara watched him silently not knowing how to respond to Vartann's confession. It had been a long time since a man had stood in front of her and declared his love (then again she wasn't sure if the boy she sat next to in eighth grade counted as real love).

After a few moments she took a step forward closing the space between them, without her heels she was slightly shorter than him, standing on her tip toes she kissed him in a way she wished she had done before. He kissed back not knowing what else to do. Sara snaked her arms around his neck deepening the kiss. The heat between them steadily grew, and Sara led Vartann towards her bedroom. They reached the foot of the bed, Sara's hands reached for the buttons on her shirt.

"Stop..." Vartann said breathlessly pulling away from her.

"I'm sorry...I can't do this...not now. I need to end things with Catherine, before we can..." He spoke softly, trailing off. Sara nodded and bit her lip, watching her feet. She felt herself burning up with embarrassment for not thinking before.

"It's fine...I understand." She gave him a small smile, her dark eyes sparking up with some hope that things would be better soon; that they would no longer have to feel guilty for wanting each other.

"I'll sleep on the couch..." he offered, planting a gentle kiss on Sara's lips.

"I'll bring you blankets and pillows." she whispered just loud enough for him to hear and kissed him again.

Once Vartann had disappeared out of the door Sara took a deep breath and closed her eyes attempting to take everything that had just happened in. For the first time in a long time it seemed as if things were getting better. She opened a cupboard pulling out spare pillows and a blanket for the man patiently waiting in the living room.

"Here." she placed them down on the sofa as Vartann removed his jacket.

"Thank you, good night."

"Good night."

They both barely slept that night while they thought about the decision they had made and what it would result in. They thought about how things were going to change in their lives.

The morning light trickled through the window gently waking Sara from her deep slumber. As she pulled herself out of bed she could hear Vartann padding around her flat on the other side of the door. A small smile tugged at her lips as she remembered the feeling and knowledge of waking up to someone being there. There was a soft knock at the door dragging her from her thoughts back to reality.

"Come in." Sara shouted.

"I hope you don't mind, I made coffee." He asked nervously offering her a steaming mug. 

"Thanks" She smiled gratefully. "Sorry...I look like a wreck."

"No...No you don't." He assured her. There was an awkward moment's silence between them as neither knew exactly what to say about the situation that they had found themselves in.

"I'm...going to talk to Catherine today." Vartann offered slowly, Sara nodded glancing down at her coffee. They both knew that the conversation would be tough and most likely break Catherine's heart.

But wasn't it better being honest than stabbing her in the back?

**Later That Day **

"Cath, can we talk?" Vartann asked standing nervously at the door of her office. He had been feeling jittery all day, knowing that he was eventually going to have to talk to her.

"Sure." Catherine indicated to the empty seat on the other side of the desk. She knew what was coming. She could tell from the way their relationship had slowly been dissolving over the last few weeks.

"Things between us..." Vartann started not being able to look into the blue eyes that he had once loved so much knowing that he was hurting her like this. "Haven't been great, and I don't think... I can do this anymore..."

"Neither can I." She said with a stoic expression, not letting how much it hurt show. "But can I ask one thing...Is there someone else?"

Vartann looked at her for a moment not knowing whether it would be right to say anything, it was then he realised that it was time to stop lying to Catherine. He could no longer pretend that he had simply just fallen out of love with her or that they had both changed. The truth was he'd fallen in love with someone else. The person he had changed into was no longer compatible with Catherine.

"Yes." He said shortly.

"Okay... Well I guess this is it." Catherine said, choking up slightly as she did so.

"I'm sorry for everything." was the only thing he could think to say in response. As he walked to the door he cast one last glance at her.

"Take care, Catherine."

Vartann pulled out of the LVPD parking lot feeling an odd sense of calm. As he drove to Sara's he realised that this was the start of something brand new. Something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention; he pulled over and climbed out of the driver's seat. Bouquets of flowers were lined up outside in buckets hoping to be chosen. He found his eyes drawn to a bouquet of lilies. Once he'd paid for them, he absent-mindedly placed them in the passenger seat of his car continuing his journey to Sara's.

Sara answered the door with a shy smile, stepping out of the way to let him in. Vartann offered her the flowers he had chosen with a sheepish smile.

"Thank you." She blushed.

"Cliché, I know." He laughed.

"No, had you brought me a dozen red roses that would have been a cliché." Sara pointed out, with a half smile. Vartann stepped closer cupping Sara's face in his hands he pulled her into a gentle kiss.

"I should put these in water." she whispered once the kiss had ended, her eyes still shut. Vartann followed her into the kitchen, once she'd finished he quickly pulled her back into his arms.

"I've wanted to do this for so long." he whispered into her ear before kissing Sara with the passion he'd recently found himself having to hold back. Her arms snaked around his neck pulling their bodies flush against each other. His hand slid down her back slowly, his fingertips brushing her ass he held her tightly as she wrapped her legs around him. Vartann trailed kisses down her neck, placing Sara on the kitchen counter as he undid the buttons on her shirt.

"Bedroom." Sara said breathlessly as he took nips at her collar bone his fingertips tracing paths down her sides to the waist band of her jeans. Once again she was in his arms, her legs around his waist and his arms around her neck as they made their way blindly down the hall towards her bedroom; somewhere along the way Sara had lost her shirt.

He placed her down on the bed their lips not disconnecting as he kicked off his shoes and removed his jacket. He undid the button and zipper on her jeans lingering long enough for her hips to involuntarily thrust upwards towards his touch. Sara growled when his hands moved away, resting on the bed either side of her hips. She finished unbuttoning his shirt, her hands slipping inside running over the plains of his back then up to his shoulders. He discarded his shirt on the floor, removed his trousers and then slid Sara's jeans down her long legs. Covering her body with his own, he returned to teasing her skin with nips and kisses. Sara ground her hips against his as his attempts to slow her down did nothing. So without further hesitation he removed the two items of clothing that were left between them and committed the very deed he'd spent the past few weeks attempting not to think about, finding the reality more intense that he could have ever imagined. Sara's nails scrapped down his back as she moved against him, each motion getting them closer to climax.

He collapsed breathlessly beside Sara waiting a few moments before pulling her into his arms. They laid in silence letting the atmosphere linger and their bodies recuperate. Outside the window the conversations of those walking past floated in, the sound of traffic moving in the distance acted as a back drop for nightfall in Vegas.

Sara propped herself up on her elbows, her eyes gleaming in every dimming light. There was something bitter-sweet about the way she looked at Vartann in that moment.

"There are so many things we need to work out." she muttered, sounding unsure.

"For now there's only one." He replied, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"What?" She asked, frowning with confusion.

"I love you..." Vartann said letting the words linger in the air acting as an indirect question.

"I love you too." Sara whispered back.

"Well then... consider that worked out." He smiled, pulling himself up to plant a gentle kiss on her lips.

As their eyes met in the semi-darkness they both shared the knowledge that things were going to change, and perhaps they would better than they had ever been before.

**The End**


End file.
